Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Are you a value-add or value-minus?

I've been wanting to write down my opinion about this for a while. Just didn't seem to have enough to go on. I then realized that I don't need to have enough or more or anything. Its my blog so I can have one line posts for dayzzzz!whooop!
Here goes :)
I'm a very friendly friend. I'm that friend that wants to make their friends smile just for love. So I'm usually the clown, the one that shares the burden,cries with you...u know... I'm also the one who always calls and buys loving gifts and flowers. When I consider one a friend,I go the extra mile. I'm glad I'm like that. To me,I feel I add some value in my friend's life.
There are those friends that feel they add value just by being.Nje. These people are never there, never call (unless there's a freebie special), basically,they couldn't be bothered what or who you're doing. They're usually the ones you've known all your life. I must admit, there are people that I moved away from myself-difference is, I don't fool myself into thinking I'm a value-add to them. I know I'm not. I'm very aware of it.
At some point,one does need to take inventory of their life and prioritize the people that add value to ones life.
Smurf (my sidekick) told me a story about her and her 'bff'. She was quite upset that her friend overlooked her when she got married. I asked her how close she and the friend were now,in 2012. Admittedly,they've grown apart. So it was unfair that Smurf expected to miraculously reclaim BFF status on that day. They hardly even bbm! Basically, Smurf adds no value in the friends life and vice versa. I'm not saying these old friends need to be trashed away, its just, attaching such titles with 'Forever' on relationships and not working to maintain the friendship is just not gonna work. People grow up, change, and meet new Besties-its the beauty of life.
Smurf also has another friend. You should see the antics Smurf goes thru to make this woman smile!*claps once* She transforms into someone with a negative IQ I tell you. A Proper domkop,just to make her laugh. Mara this woman,tjoo,she's just mean to her. This woman cannot just have a love-filled conversation with my poor blue friend. I asked Smurfy why she keeps her to which she sadly replied 'I love her'. Aaaaauuuwwww :( I asked her if this 'friend' always spoke to her the way she does. I had to ask,my friend was in pain...and I like news.
She told me this friend is just like that-always has been. I doubt that. I doubt she speaks to her mother or sisters like she does to Smurf. People treat you how you allow them I guess. This friend adds no value to Smurf's life. In fact, she's a value minus cos after talking to her, Smurf's emotional reserves are done.

OMG!I just had an epiphany. One of my oldest closest friends dumped me for being a value-minus. And he told me 9-9...just not in these words, I'd have gotten it better. He told me everyone sees a happy,jolly Chino. Whenever anything was wrong,I'd run to him and he'd have me sorted in less than an hour. He told me he never gets to see happy Chino. Cos he's always fixing. And because he's always fixing me, I never get to have proper friends chats with him. So I take,take,take all the time. Value-minus. Yaaaa neeh.

Anyway, I'm just saying. Add value to people's lives. Don't expect people to just give you their time, themselves and their cleverness while you sit on some self-made pedestal. As much as we're friends, do remember lotsa people know lotsa people and those other people,might wanna be good friends with the friend you take for granted.
I love my friends!

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