It is impossible, tiring and heartbreaking to try and make someone love you. And then if they do succumb to your love-me-please antics, who says you will ever be secure in their feelings for you?
Two things two friends told me this week about forced love:
1. Its like you're banging your head against a wall in an attempt to go through. Hurting yourself so badly...whilst you could walk on, find a door and walk through to love.
2. A man must love me first. I must submit to his love.
Though the second one sounds so sexist and old fashioned,at this point in my life, I feel its a safety net I could use when choosing who to entertain in the first place. My heart falls easily, no matter what my head says...I've just always been the one who loves more. Perhaps I am drawn to people I need to fight for...
Like Olivia Pope so properly put it "I don't want normal and easy and simple. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life- changing, extraordinary love.”
Maybe the passion can wait for later...cos heartbreak from a one sided fight is mostly humiliating and leaves one wondering if they made up all those conversations and feelings and connections.
In the end,I don't want someone who isn't sure they want me.
I will be loved.