Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Presents for who? For what? Where's mine???

Growing up, people used to come visit our house during school holidays. When these cousins came, they become part of whatever plans the household had for that holiday. Be it  clothes shopping or a getaway to an Aventura. This arrangement did not even have to be pre-planned and it was never considered an inconvenience…well except with an aunt of mine who would straight out ask my mom for bread money if I ever had to stay by her for a full day. I guess she was one of the first people to realise groceries ARE expensive and this child will be taking away two slices of bread to what my children would eat. A revolutionised mind indeed.

the following is said in the nicest possible way:

These days, with all the financial strain people are under and my generation’s difficulty in managing our finances, such impromptu visits can be quite upsetting. Aint no one got extra money for no one else’s kids. Now and then one will buy a toy for a birthday party or a random cute dress one spots while going around the mall. Renda has received gifts from exactly three of my friends. At his parties, most kids may drop off a R20 or a R50 but there is never any pressure nor dogging down of kids for their gifts. Kids these days don’t cry for a gift to take with to a party like we did. Cos people just can’t afford such anymore. Instead, people find other ways to honour friends on birthdays and such days. They may ring them (airtime and time used), or make an effort to show up (read petrol, outfit, flights) or find other ways of giving ‘love’ to their friends. One doesn’t throw a party or event to receive gifts right? Right? I hope I’m right. My presence should be enough. Time has become a higher commodity than money these days.

My friends and I generally just buy things for each other randomly. See a bag xx would like, buy it, courier it. It doesn’t even have to be on any special day. Same goes with their kids and them to mine. (Oh, I also had a secret Santa…who may have died recently and no one has bothered to let me know).

I think the way our people lived in the past has this repercussion of extended family or people that feel a kinship with you to expect you to give to them. Take for example the older lady who works in the same building with me who stops me randomly to ask me to bring her my shoes and clothes that I don’t wear...I am almost avoiding her now. Or the one who asked me for my old cellphone. Both these ladies don’t know my name and have never even asked me. I asked myself what about me made them think I had excess. I almost live hand-to-mouth-to-flight-to-Renda and hardly have excess for anything else with my one salary. 

Last week, while making calls for invites for an event my friend was having, a lady I called asked how much she needed to contribute. I replied that anything would be appreciated…cos that’s how I’d put it were it my event. When I told the event-lady-owner about this conversation, she was upset. She insisted I should have told the other lady the contribution for the event she was inviting us to should be R1000. Wow!
Do people easily have R1000 for your events? I guess I’m not working in the right place cos I just don’t have that kind of money waiting to contribute to meat at your party my friend. 
Once again I’m gonna suggest, park the event and buy the things you want others to buy you with that money.

PS. Please stop sending me baby party invites with gift registries and demands for gift cards. Do keep in mind I also have a child and I don't ask you for nothing for him.

No comments:

Post a Comment