For many years whenever friends said I should blog or write or be creative with words I always asked them and myself, where do I start. Blogging is a daunting thing to me. Well...that's me assuming 'people' will read my thoughts.
I've decided to do it now, more for my own sanity. I feel better writing things down...maybe, I'm not sure.
(OK, I promise to not edit this note again)
The world looks very different to a single, celibate woman I tell ya. Well, people also look at me differently when they hear the celibacy part. I think 90% of them don't believe me, 7% wonder HOW IS IT POSSIBLE, the other 3% probably think 'its a lack of opportunity'.
I didn't -plan on carrying it on for so long. I actually hadn't set a specific End-Date to the celibacy. I just decided to not have sex til I was over my ex. When I did get over him, two years later, my (ummm...goodies?) were too precious and I haven't found anyone worthy of popping my time-induced cherry yet. I mean, its quite as important as the 1st 1st time you know...3 years...going on 4...geez.
I'm not saying it'll go to my future husband, it just has to be some one who will at least appreciate the (gift?) (honour?) that it will be. Like someone who 10years down the line on hearing my name while grocery shopping with his then obese wife will remember that I picked him, as an adult, consciously to have sex with after 4 years.
Its tough being alone. There's no one to ask how my day was (and actually want to hear the full answer), no one to go home to, no one to cuddle or make soup for me when I'm sick.
I guess I don't make it easy for guys to approach me either. I have somehow acquired a scowl that sticks to my face whenever a guy looks at me. I can't help it. Anyway, my mom says the right guy will see thru the scowl.
I don't think all our destinies are uniform though. I mean, the way everyone goes, you'd swear everyone is going to be married. God's plan for us is different as we are all y'know, different. Perhaps I'm one of those that will be the exception, like Paul (from the bible).
I don't think it would be too bad...although I really would appreciate someone to help me with the bills and replacing lightbulbs.