Thursday, 23 August 2012

Letter to my son, Renda.

I just read Phathu Makwarela's letter to his younger self and its made me think about myself. I was such an adorable, sweet , too-well-taken-care-of child. I always was outspoken and blunt...but in a sweet child kinda way. I have this picture of myself...twas from my 5th birthday party, I'll post it when I go home and IF I do find it.
At the beginning of this post, I wanted to write this letter to the younger Phathu did...but, I the only one who sees something wrongish about doing such? Instead, I am writing this to Renda. I'll probably write him a lot more letters as I change and reinvent myself and know more.
There's so much that I do wish I had known and learnt to avoid when I was younger. Although I realise that all I did eventually go thru has made me who I am today. I do wonder how different things woulda been if I knew then what I know now about things like faith, money, love, friends and education...I wish for my child to be aware of such as he grows up. He will more informed choices then.

I had 'blind faith' as a child. As the daughter of an eccentric Christian mother, I had to recite bible verses since I was a child and knew about the Good God/No-nonsense God too. Bubu, God is not this scary white old Gandalf-type-beard guy sitting on some glittery throne with a bagful of tragedy for when you take the wrong path. God is love. Love doesn't hurt. Such knowledge leads one to respect themselves and their relationship with God. When you love and respect God, you will live a good life that pleases God. That my son, is your priority.

Speaking of love...I don't know much about romantic love my son. I do know that your 1st love should be God, then you, then that order-ALWAYS. About love as in baby, the same concept of respect and love will take you a long way. Be courteous, be empathetic, be sweet, treat the girl you choose as you would want a guy to treat Mufunwa. You are a good lookings boy, don't let that go to your head. You did nothing to look like you do. Its not an issue, don't ever make it be one.
You should be wary of people that come in the name of love but don't respect you or the relationship you have with them. Unfortunately, you will be hurt too, tjoooo, verry-but you'll be ok. I promise. Your love life should not negatively affect other parts of your life. I have had it happen to me that I love so much and lose focus of myself and what I need to be doing in my mission on earth.

Your mission on earth is said to have been pre-destined by God...I'm not really sure how that works. All I do know is that with the relationship I wish you to have with God, He will light the way and you will know how He has planned for you to serve in this mission you are on. Do not ever forget that earth is not your home. We are here for a short time only. We will all eventually go home. Death shouldn't scare you at all. Its part of the journey.
Material possessions should not drive what you do or who you spend your time with. I always tell everybody you are gonna be an international soccer player. I've even started looking at how to get you into The School of Excellence as I know you love soccer :) You do not have to play soccer though, whatever you choose, God will be by your side.

I've been very reckless with money for the longest time. I get it and I spend it(mostly on you)...that's it. It has always been like that. What I have learnt from the drama I have been thru because of such behaviour is that money may not be very important and shouldn't be kept too close...however you do need to respect it. Respecting money is not worshipping it, its more...acknowledging it and knowing what needs to be done in order for it to serve you for however long the money you have should. In acknowledging it, you should look at saving, having a rainy-day pocket...y'know...such things. I am learning this now and it is hard work. That's why you have a piggy bank for your bicycle savings already (PS.The more you use it, the longer you have to wait). I want you to learn early in life the importance of respecting money and that instant gratification is not what we live for.

They say education is very important and will open doors for you. That is very true lovey. Doing the hard work of school makes it easier for you to have credibility when you approach people that will maybe invest in your projects or give you a job. I will for you to get an education hence the money I channel into funds for your future studies. Educate yourself more from the people around you. That's how I do it. I have some incredible role models in my life that will happily help you as you grow older with the kind of advice they have helped me with too. Never stop learning. You are growing up in a time where information is readily available for you to lap up. Be greedy about it. Learn, learn, learn so you know your story. Nothing is as irritating as a rambler who speaks without having a basis for what he says.
*'They' is society. You will come to know that I don't always listen to 'them'.

I'd like you to become a man of integrity, honour, respect and grandeur. Don't allow anyone to step all over you child. I used to, a lot, cos I'm doesn't help you in anyway. Be comfortable with letting go of what isn't working. Its ok to move on. Don't waste time crying over spilt milk. Friends will come and go. Don't keep the dead weight-friends. It leads to animosity and that's quite a drag. Rather move away from such people while you are still civil with each other. remember that attaching yourself or being close to people doesn't make whatever they are rub off on you. You are your own person as I always tell you. You are special and perfect as you are. This will help you celebrate the good friends you have and stop you from comparing yourself to people in your life. Appreciate the good friends you do have, boy, such people come in handy when one needs a laugh. Friendship is a two way street, pay your dues too.
Being a man of integrity means doing what you said you will do. Every time. Be on time, always. The Japanese have this beautiful way to do this. The 7 minute rule. Always be 7 minutes early for everything. If you get there 2 minutes before a meeting, it means you rushed. you should get there in comfortable enough time but still not look like you are nervous by getting there an hour early. Get there, wait at the gate and go in with 7 minutes to go.
As to what people will have to say about you, mxm. Not even worth talking about. But since you are young and may not have realised it yet, they talk about you cos they are bored. They are so bored and boring, they can't even talk about themselves. That's why you are a topic on their social network sites and tea breaks. You are my son after all, people will talk. Ignore them, they'll get over it...or you'll get a way to dim their voices out. Whatever comes 1st, don't ever defend who you are to no one. You are loved with an incredible love.  
Your name was taken from Psalm 103, a verse that our family leans on. "O my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I'll bless His holy name! O my soul, bless God, don't forget a single blessing."
Nipfi Renda Yehova Muya Wanga, zwothe zwire ngomu hanga zwi khode dzina lawe likhethwa. That is who you are, That is you main mission on earth.

I love you and you best know, as long as I'm alive, whatever it is you want, I'll get you 2 of it. Cos I'm a rockstar mommy like dat ;)

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