Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Men, be independant somblief.

Here we are again, you sitting with your eyes glued to your screen waiting to see what crap I have to say today. Tip your mind over into the feeding position and hear me out before bursting neh. Today I wanna talk about men...and their independant women.
These days, South African black women are strong, independant and making it rain.
Lemme give you a little history lesson. In the past, black men had to leave the homelands to go find work in the city(Joburg). This left the women at home to be both mother and father to the kids. Some of these men got new families in Gauteng and hardly ever went home to visit the homeland family. So most children grew up with only a mother to look up to. I believe its from such models that we have strong women today that are capable of running households and multinational corporations all in the same pair of stilletoes. This also brought the advantage of black men that are ok with being emotional and also more in touch with the sensitivity of the women in their lives. basically, these boys grow up without a practical example of what a man does...see why i always cry about what this bladdy past of ours did? You know mos how most black men were in the past, hard, 'manly'. 
Well, with the family unit having being taken apart by the way of life back then, we have some black men that feel the children and household chores are a woman's job.
My recently single friend had a man who used to buy her gifts, help with petrol, y'know...was proper with her while courting her. A few months into the relationship, all this stopped. As a lady, when you go visit you boyfriend's/fiance's house, you make sure you help out with house chores. She used to go spring clean almost every weekend, wash the sheets, scrub bathroom and all...for her man. They'd get there after an afternoon of activities and other stuff, while chilling they both get hungry. Instead of picking up the phone and calling Mr Delivery, she'd get up and cook. Yes. Cook(I was shocked when I heard this too). Cos she knows her man is probably tired of takeaways and might appreciate a home cooked meal. He did. And he always used to tell her she was 'wife material' .heheheheheheehehhe Wife Material...tjooooo...anyway.
My friend eventually asked this man what his role in the relationship was. I mean, here is this modern girl who is running a very successful male dominated business, on her knees scrubbing floors for this man that seems to not know that she used a car that needs petrol to get to his house. I get that a relationship is about two people and feelings and whatever else you loser-dating people(or loser-married) like to add on neh. But....wasn't this woman being abused in this relationship? Cos it seems the only thing this man brought was bedroom pleasure...what else? My friend and I agreed that by 'wife material' he wasn't referring to her antics in bed. He was probably referring to the work she did in and around HIS house. What are the 'husband material ' qualities then? I mean something not 'internal', something visible...like a pot on the stove? Carrying bags, taking out the trash(it stinks), washing her car...these are all little things that a manly man could and SHOULD do. Sometimes even making her breakfast, traditionally a woman's to-do, makes a big difference. Buying gifts or paying the bill when eating out is usually reserved for the man, it is always very impressive when a woman does it...see my drift? As much as men want women to be independant and buy their own perfume and pay for their own hair...why do most still expect a woman to carry out 'women' duties then?
I once had a man that stayed at home while I worked. He knew his role...well, we eventually broke up cos he was just too much of my beesh really.ROFL.
I'm just sayin, don't be expecting me to do nothing for you if you aint doing nothing for me. My nail polish is very expensive and I aint gonna mess it washing your dishes if you don't even know what size shoes I wear.

#NP Beyonce - Dance for you....my friend LOVES this song...I'm sure she used to daaance for him too...shoo...he must not know abwt independant women.

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