You know what I miss most about having a boyfriend. The companionship. In the past, I chameleoned into whatever the guy liked and voila-we have something in common. I like having in common things. Cos I like to 'engage' in smart conversation...well..of course...duh...I talk too much. I think that's how I came to be exposed to a lot of different umm...subjects? So I'd delve deep into whatever it was be it party life, pot-headism, music, poetry, mafia things, politics, spoilt-brattism, imitating-homeless-people...all weird things...but you'd be surprised what one can learn while in all those states.lol.
I miss those long conversations where you KNOW the other totally gets you! When you have a good match,its...a feeling that...could go on for days.:):):)
Having someone who is not your mother that is interested in your life is...nice. The difference between a boyfriend and girlfriend(or male friend) is the intimacy part neh?mm...sometimes I go for weeks without feeling a pang of that 'loneliness'...I mean longing for a cuddle or stuff. With me not wanting to give up my 'goodies', its difficult and exhausting to even attempt relationships in 2012.*hmmmm*exasperation...
I don't wanna not be me. Its too much effort. I don't wanna have to lower my IQ or acquire a physicist's one-just so we click. No one is perfect and no one will fit like a puzzle piece...but...it seems I'm a circle meeting zillions of squares, rectangles,triangles...now and then an oval comes along...but after a while runs off to try squeeze into a star-shape.smh I'm so protective over my circle...I don't wanna compromise it...I don't want it squeezed into an oval,then perhaps another shape...being me and 'the adapting'...I can't be too careful I remain focused. Me must remain me!
Do I want it. YES. I was gonna say on my terms...but that's selfish. On terms that mutually satisfy us both. And it mustn't be awkward. And he must 'get' me. OMG I don't wanna have to explain why I called him Einstein for saying a frankfurter is a type of roll. ROFL.*clears throat*
I think it would really suck to have one and ...y'know...not have all those other things. Really suck...
But I guess people don't become boyfriend and girlfriend unless they click neh? In the 1st place?
Love is really for the brave. Dude, you put your heart out there and pray the other person respects it and likes it enough to not hurt it...even if they know they can fix it later. Esiiishh...just writing about it is making MY heart beat faster and harder. Is that heart palpitations doctors? Yeah, it scares me that much.
Those of you in love, do appreciate it...its a lovely thing to be in!!!