Saturday, 22 September 2012

Motherhood, my blessing.

So Renda and I spent this weekend together. It’s actually the very first >3hours me and Renda have spent together completely alone. There’s always someone there…at home, whenever he I always part-time. So I decided I’m doing it this weekend, I'm chilling one-on-one with Renda. It felt like one falling in love…whenthe thought dawned on me on my way to work on Thursday morning.
 It was as if a courtship started…and when my mom agreed it was a great idea and we swept her away to Stellenbosch, the feeling just grew and grew…I could feel myself becoming happier by scales by Friday afternoon. I was smiles and dangerous flirts all day.*blush*

So mom left last night and I stayed with Renda. My heart has been beating with a sorta good rhythm. A typa musical~loungy feel. I just feel good pipo! We went to the movies today and I even sorta window shopped and only bought the stuff we needed. It didn’t even feel like I should die. It was nice smiles and plans to buy that one and that one when I have money. I even waved at the girls at MAC as I passed.
Could it be possible that the answer to the scowl is this little man here? Hehehehehe.
I’ve been told that I love Renda this much cos he’s my child. I don’t think that’s why. No one has an obligation to love anyone. He’s not my person mos. I was just the passage God used to bring him to earth. So already God loves him, he’s sharp. I don’t have to. I do cos…he’s so innocent…he’s still very pure…I always want the things he discovers when I’m around him to inspire him to be his best know he is capable, God is with him, he is loved and I appreciate him being him. So I am constantly finding ways to make him happy and grow him. I don’t want to be the one to give ruin him. He makes me want to be a better person, be a role model. I am so far from what I want him to see in his mother. Even when I get impatient with him, I pull myself back so fast…I could learn patience!!! I had given up on that one. I see in him so much potential to almost fast-track me to the best me I can be. My ultimate goal! He’s so almost perfect to me…

Am I saying all this cos he’s my child? Do I see him as soo adorbs cos he’s mine? Is his voice so melodious nje just cos he’s my child? Do people with children with irritating voices think their voices are melodious? I have a nasal tone…I think it’s irwitatin…I wonder if my mom thinks its melodious.LOL. I think its ok to think your child has freaky eyes if your child does have freaky eyes.

If all mothers, even those with kids that are...not very easy on the eye, feel this way…ya neh. Then God has blessed women with the gift of motherhood. It’s an awesome feeling. I love being Renda's mother.

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