I must stop and smell the roses maybe...

So, it appears the more weight I lose the more issues I have with my body. Y'know, at some point my biggest issue was my belly and its side kick, the muffin belt. The other day as I was chatting to my sister about a skirt I wanted to buy that I thought exposed my excess flesh she said I don't have excess meat anymore. I trust my sister with no reservations. She'll NEVER lie to me shem, she'd rather ignore me. Twas only then that I noticed the flab had gone. *whooop*

My biggest issue then became my thighs. OMG, after shaving twenty centimetres off my belly, I finally see the massiveness underneath that supports the weight that is my body...makes sense thou. I have THUNDER thighs!! That's why I have intensified the jogging. I HAVE to rid myself of these thighs!

Yesterday, I noticed something else that's wrong...I look proper preggy now. Not like a fat preggy...but preggies still. Since the muffin belt is gone and all is firming up nicely, I have a belly that's sticking out without the side flaps. A hard belly at that. Its so depressing!

Tse-tse-tse i vhidza mini?

My friend mentioned that I am being ungrateful...like, women who are so used to losing, they don't even notice when they've won. Its so true hey. But I can't help it. Neither can I, or the people I come across, help seeing my protruding belly and the thunder thighs. Its just THERE!

Now that I have had an honest look at these body things, I am extremely critical of myself and shy away from wearing clothes that aren't for big mamas.  Just because the skirt comes in a size 16 don't mean you should buy it...ever wondered why a size 16 model isn't on the poster? So from size 4 to size 16...its on the brink of unfairness to wear it shem. How much more material would have to be used on the 16 as opposed to the 4? Its blasphemous!


As much as people try to convince me I'm hallucinating and I'm sharp what-what, I don't believe them. These are the same people who said I was sharp when I looked like one beefing up to take up a spot for Most Biggest in the Guinness records.

My friend weighs about 55kg and she's lifting weights and eating right. She is soooo obsessed with how fat her arms are. I promise you, she has such toned arms...but she doesn't see it. Sometimes I convince myself I am also being ridiculous about my body, being too hard on myself...then I remember I am fat. 
A person meeting me for the first time will see a fat woman at first glance. I don't want that. I don't want to be described by the size of my boobs. That's what happens when most people meet bigger than average people. The description to the next person WILL include my size in the first 3 sentences.

My mom says I must be careful of going anorexic...cos apparently this is what leads people to anorexia, having a distorted image of your body. Arrgh, I doubt I'd get there, the way I like Vho Esther's menu.


There's no moral or point to this post. I'm not mother goose mos. I can say things nje for saying.