Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Forbidden Fruit....tales of our lives. By a friend of mine.

Forbidden fruit ~A word that originates from Genesis concerning Adam and eve, how ironic, man and woman~. For present day relevance forbidden fruit is any indulgence or pleasure that is considered illegal or immoral in this case a forbidden fruit is an ex of your friends, cousins, sister or close acquaintance.

This weekend was a very informative yet disturbing one .I stay with my younger cousin and by younger I don’t mean a child but a grown as woman who just happens to be 4 years younger than me. This is a girl I considered to be a little sister and friend more than anything else. Two weeks ago on my usual girl Thursday I decided to invite her out for a drink as my best friend and drinking buddy (let’s call her Bestie) couldn’t make it. 
Prior to extending my invitation to my cousin, I had been warned under several occasions to never go out with her coz every time I did, the evening always ended on a bitter note. But hell she is my little sister and we’re family so who better to share a jam jar with than her. I got to Primi Midrand before she did, and behold there in a corner amongst 3 other young gentlemen was my ex boyfriend,  I'll call him ‘the apple’ as he is the forbidden fruit that my cousin would take a big bite out of. I had dated Apple 6 years ago while still in university for almost a year, we were inseparable and practically lived in each other’s dorm rooms. I’d met him in his first year and I was in my second, behold he was the hottest thing to enter varsity that year and indeed I had my guns out for this one. He was kind, shy and had a really hot soccer body, did I mention those ‘brackets’ that generally attract me to most of the guys I date.

 Everyone knew we were opposites yet everyone admired how well we connected and had a general level of respect for each other. We dated well over the December holiday, for when I went on vacation and he stayed behind, every night he’d call and we’d spend hours talking about how much we missed each other. I won’t lie we broke up primarily because of me and to some extent our relationship just withered away as I moved out of res the following year and barely made time for him as now I had my own place. On his end he had all the freedom to pressure the new intake, which was inevitable as already girls wanted him whilst we were dating, yes he was the forbidden fruit literally, girls liked him because I had him.

Fast forward to present day. I had noticed him as I walked into Prime but didn’t realise I knew him. He recognized me first, he had lost a lot of weight due to the holy herb, I had been surprised when this cute thang called my name. I finally clicked who it was and I remember LOL, coz I hadn’t seen him in years and when I'd entered I'd said to myself ‘dude in the hoody is cute’. We chatted for a bit and he asked me to join his table, I had mentioned that I am waiting for my cousin and that I'd join them once she arrived. I didn’t really want to as that was my past and apart from the fact that he looked hot, I wasn’t consumed with any reason of why we should be hanging out again. I texted my cousin and told her I just met my ex and she could take her time as I was catching up with him. She arrived a short while later. “Damn the boy in the hoodie is hot”, she said. I laughed and told her that was the ex I was telling her about. She mentioned that she’d never heard me talk about him in our many girl conversations. I told her I did and reminded her of a very intimate story concerning him and I. She lol and said she remembered but I hadn’t mentioned how hot he was. She asked how I could cheat on such a hot guy, that she would never do such a thing. I laughed it off.

An hour later she convinced me to invite him and his boys to join our table. No harm in that I assumed the more the merrier. She asked again in front of everyone how he n I knew each other. He reiterated the fact that we had dated and laughed, I recall him even saying ‘good times we had u n I’. His n I continued to catch up asking about all the cats we used to hang with. ‘Kombela ni hooke up naye we’ she says to me. ‘Please hook me up with him. I mention to her that that would be weird as I had dated him and been intimate with him, he wasn’t just a guy who liked me, but a guy I'd shared my bed with for months on end. She blatantly ignored what I just said and even kicked me under the table signaling for me to go ahead and put a word in for her. After an hour Apple said he and his boys had to leave. The boys had split the bill and she had teased and said who splits the bill, he mentioned that he was unemployed and times were rough. She said to me ‘he doesn’t have money, but who cares’. Apple asked me to walk him out; she’s whispered to me ‘don’t forget to get his no for me.’ On the way out I mentioned to Apple that my cousin thought he was cute and he had responded ‘Cousins, Amy, cousins, really?’. He asked for my numbers and I had given them. I went back to the table and told her what he had said. She asked for his number and I mentioned that I hadn’t asked for them, that he had taken mine instead. She laughed it off and mentioned that she knew his roommate and would get his numbers from him. 

We got home also shortly after, we got ready to go to Cocoon and I had to pick up my best friend on our way out. On our way out she said we should go past his place. I told her I didn’t know what number he stayed at. She mentioned that my little sister had his roommate’s number as she was friends with him and that we could get the house no. and Apple’s no from the roommate. I called the roommate and got his no. She asked me to call him. He sounded very surprised when he answered the call. I mentioned that we came past to pass time before we hit the club. He met us down stairs and as I had a smoke lit, he’d ushered her in and said he’d wait outside with me to finish my smoke. Apple and I stood outside and chatted before the door open and my cousin had said ‘jenani nga ngomu uri ndi ambe naye ndindote’. “go inside so I can talk to him alone’. Did I mention that I had told her that he had a girlfriend and that he really liked his chic. They didn’t stay out for long and she said she was ready to go. She had gotten his number and said. “I just need a cuddle buddy; he can cuddle me all winter’. 

You all are probably thinking why I had not reacted at that point. Why should I? Do we as women not have an unwritten rule about ex’s? As far as I know, no one should even be looking at your ex that way, let alone trying to bone him, so no, I didn’t see reason to comment on logic and girl code at that. We had had this discussion over the weekend with my friends. We got to where we were picking bestie up. I had rushed to the bathroom and told my bestie what had happened. I could see the rage rising in her as I told her what has just happened, she wasn’t impressed and more so because I was amused and giggling. I normally do that when I’m stuck and have nothing to say. She had scolded me and mentioned that there was nothing remotely funny about what had just transpired. Bestie had stormed out of the bathroom to where I had parked and my cousin in the front seat. “What you’re doing is wrong and disgusting.’ Bestie said to my cousin. “Who does that?” there is a rule about such. ‘Who the f*ck do u think you are’ my cousin had opened the door and charged at my bestie, “You can’t just accuse me or sh!t before you even ask me what happened she had screamed. “ I don’t have to ask, you’re trying to hook up with your cousins ex and that sick’. This quarrel went on for a few minutes before I cautioned my cousin to get in the car and for my friend to go get her bag so we leave for the club. “I’m not going anywhere with that girl’ my bestie had said, and walked away

Last week Tuesday id gotten back from jogging when I found my cousin showering. She said “guess whom I spoke to today, Apple’. He is so sweet hey, I still don’t get why you would have cheated on him.’ She said with such excitement I had walked into my room and she had gotten out the shower and followed me to the room and continued to tell me what a great convo she had had with him. She asked for my hard drive and said she wanted to go collect series from a friend whom she hadn’t seen in a while, whom mind you, happened to stay where Apple stayed. I had never heard of this friend yet he suddenly existed. She said she and her friend were going to watch a movie whilst downloading series for me to watch. Guys call me stupid but my instinct told me she went to see him that night as she returned late that evening and my hard drive had no series from ‘the friend’.

 The next morning I had chatted to him on fb and asked him what he was doing he mentioned that last night he was just kicking it with her, being a good friend and that he had a girl and had made it clear to her that anything else was just stupid stuff. I had said nothing in response to that.
She called me Friday evening and asked for his no. I told her I didn’t have his no, she’d said, oh well m sure he will call. I decided to go away for the long weekend, clearly she and didn’t need to be around each other. I had returned on Sunday evening. My cousin had called and asked if I wanted to go to bbq Sunday, I said I’d stay for a drink or two, after all i'd been indoors at a friend’s all weekend without a drink and wanted one badly. A friend and I were supposed to hook up when she had fallen sick so hey why not. I said I’d take my car in case I wanted to return and she had mentioned that I need not worry about how they got back home. We arrived at  Mushroom for BBQ Sunday. 
AMBUSH I tell you.
 There in the corner were allot of familiar faces. My boys from back in varsity that happen to be in the same clique as Apple and ‘The apple” himself were there dancing. Yes the apple my ex. Wow, shocked for days. I could feel the blood rushing to my head and I tried to compose myself, I had too, all these boys and girls where here and I wasn’t going to lose my cool, but yes I had been schooled yet again, my cousin was good, in fact this was just a round 1 , she was yet to knock me the f*ck out. A friend of mine happened to arrive at Mushroom to buy alcohol and I swear I leaped from my chair as if I’d seen Boris Kijoe. He was so surprised to see me so excited. I explained as the last time we spoke we’d had a fall out. I explained to him what had just happened. “Take your bag, you don’t need to be here, let’s go”. Wow thank you Lord. That was my cue and I wasn’t going to bow down for this show, more like drop the mic on the floor and leave the stage. I grabbed my bag and that was that.
I had gone over to a friend that evening. I came back home the next morning around 10. My cousin wasn’t home because the friend answered the door, I asked where my cousin was and she said she had slept over at the apples house. The friend had asked me how I knew those boys from the night before and I mentioned that apple was my ex. “what? is there no rule about exes” she had uttered in disbelief. I laughed and said “well, clearly not.” OKAAAYYYYYY. I mixed myself a drink and 10 minutes later in walked in my cousin in her pajama’s and behind her was none other than ‘the apple.’ WOW round 2 of shock. He had greeted and asked for a hug, as I said from the beginning this has nothing to do with hemi had no reserved feelings harbored for him, he was an ex and a potential friend, well I guess now friendship seems like a NOT. They came and joined me by the balcony. He and I had exchanged a couple of stories from back in varsity when we were dating and laughed it off. She seemed very comfortable with the three of us. I swear I felt like we were having a fully clothed threesome only difference is I hadn’t been warned about it. They had sat with me for an hour and said they had to go and would be back. I suspect, and this is clearly a suspicion, they had gone back to his place as f*cking in the room next to mine while I was there and her friend too would have been a little awkward, but then again wasn’t this whole situation a little awkward?
I decided to go take a nap. I woke up when I heard people laughing and talking by the shower. I was getting ready to get up from bed and go pour myself a drink when I opened the door I saw my bestie standing there with her eyes popping out as if she had seen a ghost. “What’s wrong “I asked. She just turned and pointed to the bathroom, as I took a step forward, there was my cousin, in her birthday suit, butt naked, commando, boobs and all taking a shower and the apple, my ex, standing by the sink with the door wide open chatting and laughing away. 
DING DING DING DING.............ROUND 3 and a KO at that.

 I walked past slowly in utter shock, disbelief which quickly turned to disgust, anger and pure sadness. This girl had the nerve. Indeed she not only had she disrespected me by hooking up with the forbidden fruit but she had obviously had sex with him as she could now openly shower in front of him, in our shower, with the door wide open with me in the next room.*Claps* My friend looked at the apple as he apologized mentioning that he didn’t know I was around. My bestie n I sat outside and had a drink in silence as we were both to shocked to mention or try understanding what had just happened.

I’m saddened by all that has transpired, even more so by the level of disrespect or rather unnecessary disrespect from a cousin, friend and sister. I’m just so confused as to how heartless and inconsiderate a person so close to you could do something of this magnitude. See I am the one who picked her up when so-called friends or boyfriends let her down; the one when she was excited got excited with her. I’m the one who knows so many intimate secrets of hers and she trusted me with them. I’m the girl whom when she was losing her mind helped her find he sanity. But clearly to her I’m the girl whose forbidden apple trumped the sisterly bond.

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